Adheep and Tobi on the day of their marriage in Malsch, Germany. There was no option for them to get married in Nepal because the country’s legal system has only imagined marriage between opposite sexes. Photo courtesy: Bhojraj Pokharel

“Yes, our son is gay”: A Nepali father’s awakening

A path-breaking personal essay calling for social acceptance and full rights for Nepal’s LGBTIQ+ community

Bhojraj Pokharel is a former Chief Election Commissioner of Nepal and an internationally recognised expert on elections in conflict and post-conflict scenarios. He has held high positions at various government, corporate and civic entities in Nepal, as well as at numerous international organisations including the United Nations. He has been a Senior JR Fellow at the US Institute of Peace, a Mason Fellow at the Harvard Kennedy School and a member of the Kofi Annan Foundation’s Electoral Integrity Core Team. He is a co-author of the book 'Nepal Votes for Peace' and author of 'Election Violence Prevention through Diplomacy'. He is on Twitter as @PokharelBhojraj. | Niranjan Kunwar is the author of Nepal’s first queer memoir, 'Between Queens and the Cities' (2020). He has a master’s degree in education from the City University of New York with a specialisation in childhood education.

Published on:

10 May 2023, 7:15 am

Translator's note: In December 2007, Nepal's Supreme Court, ruling on the landmark case of Sunil Babu Pant and Others vs. Government of Nepal, decided to decriminalise homosexuality. Despite this legal victory, gaining social acceptance for Nepal's gender and sexual minorities remains a struggle, as does improving society's understanding of the complex challenges they face.

I chose to translate this essay to contribute to the public's sensitisation on LGBTIQ+ issues. The original article, published in Nepali by Kantipur (Koseli) on 25 March 2023, stands out for several reasons. It's written by Bhojraj Pokharel, a former Chief Election Commissioner and an influential leader of Nepal's civil society. Fifteen years after the Supreme Court verdict, an entire generation has come of age in a rapidly transforming world. Nepal's LGBTIQ+ movement has matured, with numerous young people coming out online and offline. Yet the older generation still seems stuck in the past. Pokharel's words provide much-needed guidance to those struggling in confusion and hope to those committed to justice and equality. His message deserves to be heard beyond the Nepali-speaking world even as it continues to ripple through Nepali society.

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Nepal

LGBT