'One day forever': a translated excerpt from Farsi novel 'Yak Roz Ta Abad'

Note from the translator: .The following story is a translated excerpt from the novel Yak Roz Ta Abad (One Day Forever) by Lina Rozbeh Haidari. The novel portrays the situation of women in Afghanistan before the Taliban’s resurgence in the country. It beautifully depicts the political landscape of the nation and its impact on people’s lives, emotions, loves and struggles..The narrative of this story revolves around Zahra, the youngest in her family. Her mother is a widowed single woman who takes care of her two daughters. Despite facing economic hardship, she continues to provide hope for a better life for her daughters..Translator:.Laila Ghezal Azimi is a freelance writer weaving together stories of food, memory and the complexities of exile. When not crafting evocative prose, she volunteers at The Community Library Project in Delhi, fostering a love for literature among younger generations. Laila finds solace in exploring historical sites and translating English books into her native Dari – a way to bridge cultures and share the written word with her mother..Support Southasian literature, become a Himal Patron today!.“Girls who have no father, no brother, or any man to protect them from individuals like Haji Karim, may find themselves vulnerable, akin to being led to the slaughterhouse like helpless sheep. Since my childhood, my mother instilled in us the values of honour and respect, cautioning us against actions that might compromise these virtues. Now, with this family’s announcement of my engagement, and Haji Karim spreading the news to everyone, the question arises: should I break off this engagement to comply with your wishes for the remainder of my life?” .I looked at her in surprise and said, “Maryam, which people? Did these people bring the Medal of Honour for me, you, or my mother? Did they thank you for living in poverty, hardship, and amid war, with honour and dignity? Has Haji Karim ever visited us without a motive or assisted us? Don’t worry about people and their chatter; people gossip regardless, and their talk is not important. What matters is you and your happiness. Sabour and I will wrap things up, pack all their gifts, take them to Hamid’s house tomorrow and give them back. That will be the end of it all.”.I reached out to grab the box that Hamid had brought, but Maryam intercepted me, taking my hand. With an expression full of anger, she said, “You're fortunate to have a man like Sabour in your life, but most girls aren’t as lucky as you. Finding a man like Sabour is as rare as finding a needle in a haystack. I’ve endured enough in my life, and now I don’t want this label added to my name alongside ‘orphan’ and ‘poor’, someone who ended their engagement. Hamid mentioned that if I broke things off, no one would believe I was unhappy with this engagement. In the eyes of the people, there won’t be any apparent reason for dissatisfaction. Hamid is young, wealthy, from a well-known family, while I am a poor, orphaned, ordinary girl. People, even women, can be extremely harsh and unjust, often blaming the woman for every situation. They will undoubtedly assert that Hamid perceived some deficiency or flaw in me and ended things. They will never consider that I was unhappy and so I let him go.”.I glanced at my mother and asked, “Are you planning to speak, or should I?” My mother bowed her head, seemingly in agreement with Maryam’s words. I turned towards Maryam with frustration and said, “Maryam, listen up. People, wherever and whenever they gossip, are prone to judging and spreading rumours about others. Do you really want to ruin your life forever for the sake of these people’s opinions?”.Maryam, whose anger had subsided but whose eyes were filled with tears, said, “Zahra, we live among these people. Do you think that if I end this engagement I’ll find a man who is as kind and as patient as Sabour to marry me? If I marry in the future, do you think the man who marries me won’t always wonder why my engagement with a wealthy boy ended? Will he truly believe that I left Hamid, not the other way around? It was not Hamid, but Haji Karim who ruined my life. Now, the only solution is to be patient, get to know Hamid better, and hope for your prayers that he’ll be a good person. Just pray for me.” She then rested her head on my mother’s knee and began to cry..My mother cried alongside me, and tears streamed uncontrollably from my eyes. I empathised with every ounce of Maryam’s pain; I understood her words. I placed myself in her position – patiently calling off my engagement could grant me a peaceful and carefree life, but would another man be willing to marry me then? It’s these groundless traditions that shackle the lives of countless girls in this region, dooming them to a lifetime of suffering and sorrow. The weight of honour and reputation, placed solely upon women, bears heavily on the shoulders of girls willing to endure any injustice and cruelty until death, How heartless these people are, and even more ruthless are women like Zarina and Zubeida, who conspire with men to ruin a girl’s life..The sound of the gate bell startled me awake. I hastily wiped my tears and hurried towards the gate. It was Rahima, her usual broad smile displaying her two gold teeth. “Your eyes sparkle,” she remarked. “I imagined Maryam’s suitors had arrived again, perhaps in another luxury car.” Upon entering the room, she greeted my mother warmly, planting a kiss on her cheek and saying, “Sediqa-jan, please offer the same prayers for my daughter that you did for your daughters, so that, God willing, both of our daughters’ destinies are in the best places.” Then, pointing to the box brought by Hamid, she inquired, “What did they bring?” Without waiting for permission, she seized the box, opening it to reveal a gold necklace adorned with rubies. Rahima extended it to Maryam and quipped, “Listen, darling, if I were in your place, I’d extend this engagement period to fetch you gold every week,” and chuckled. Feeling entirely fed up, I glanced at Rahima and remarked, “Rahima, dear, Maryam isn’t content, and we aim to terminate this engagement.” Angrily, Maryam shot me a look and retorted, “No, Rahima, she’s just joking.” Rahima, wearing a surprised expression, turned to me and exclaimed, “Maryam, God forbid! No one in their right mind would break off this engagement. What’s lacking in the lad? He’s young, wealthy…” Abruptly she paused, and then continued, “I once said, if any man is perfect and flawless, there are only two types: either like my husband, penniless, ill-tempered and a philanderer, or wealthy, ill-tempered and a philanderer. It’s always better to be rich than to have no money. Money makes a man’s bad mood tolerable for a woman; no matter what wrong he does, at least he has money. But what can one do with a poor man like my husband, who’s both despicable and penniless?” Rahima laughed. She busied herself examining the necklace, weighing it in her hand, and then raised her eyebrows, looking at Maryam. “By God, this is weighty! He didn’t buy you something flimsy and inexpensive. How fortunate you are; the lad truly adores you,” she remarked admiringly..Rahima’s words proved to me and my mother how much Maryam’s words were correct. Maryam was right. If she separated, no one would believe that she wanted to be separated from a rich boy by her own decision, and maybe no other man would step forward to marry her..A few minutes had passed after Rahima left when the phone rang. I hesitated before answering. Today, I was so engrossed in Maryam’s situation that the day had slipped away and it became too late to visit the hospital. I picked up the phone and uttered, “Sabour, I’m sorry. I intended to visit mother-jan and be by your side today, but Haji Karim unexpectedly came by, and he’s still there. There is no peace at home.” Sabour remained silent, offering no response. Assuming he was upset, I continued, “Tomorrow morning, we’ll head to the hospital right away, and I’ll bring soup for mother-jan. I apologise for leaving you alone; I know you need me more than ever.”.Sabour’s voice quivered slowly as he spoke, “No, there’s no need for you to come. My mother passed away just moments ago. I removed the oxygen mask from her face with my own hands. I closed her eyes myself as she left. She looked at me and took her final breath, leaving, departing like an angel. And now, I am alone.” His loud sobs from the other end of the line mingled with my own cries. I realised that today was an ominous day, a harbinger of immense pain and catastrophe in my life..With tears in my eyes, I returned to the room and said to my mother, “Why are the lives of good people so short? Sabour’s kind mother has passed away. She only endured two or three weeks of illness before she died. Why do good people leave us so soon? But nothing harms people like Haji Karim.”.My mother clasped her hands together in disbelief, her eyes reflecting sorrow. “Oh, curse this life,” she murmured. “What a kind and wonderful woman she was. May God bless her soul and grant her a place in heaven. And look at my plight: Haji Karim, who never saw any good, tormented me so much that I couldn’t even visit her in the hospital. Call Sabour quickly; I need to speak with him and Farhanaz.”.I dialled Sabour’s number again, but the phone rang several times without an answer..I didn’t know what to do. It was night, and I couldn’t go to the hospital or Sabour’s house. However, I decided that tomorrow my mother and I would go to Sabour’s house to be with them..It didn’t matter what others said or thought. I would be patient with him, and nothing would stop me..At night, the same strange silence reigned in the house. Maryam sat by the stove, deep in thought, not even touching her food. Mother lay on the mattress, staring at the ceiling, lost in her own thoughts. My mind was filled with countless worries: Sabour’s situation, Maryam’s future, and everything that had happened in recent days, all swirling in circles..The pain-relief pill did not alleviate the severe headache that had plagued me since morning. I tied a large handkerchief around my head, lay down on the mattress, and stared at the window and the dark sky. A few small stars, like tiny white dots, were visible..I don’t know why my father suddenly came to my mind, and I stumbled. Two hot tears rolled down my cheeks, burning from the headache, and fell on the pillow. As I gazed at the sky, I whispered to myself, “Agha-jan, do you remember us? Can you see us from above? Your absence in our lives is profound. May God condemn to hell those who took you from us and make their families suffer as we do. Your absence is a deep void in our lives, Agha-jan. You ascended to heaven, leaving us in the hell of life on earth. I try to support my mother and Maryam, but at the end of the day I am a weak girl who cannot fill your place for my mother and Maryam. I need you myself…”.My crying intensified as I buried my face in the pillow, hoping my mother wouldn’t hear. It was the first time in a long while that I missed my father so intensely, after enduring life’s suffering and pain. I could vaguely recall his face, especially when he returned from work, bringing me something and then lifting me onto his knee, his hand resting on my head as he kissed me. I could still feel the weight of his gentle hands on my head and the tickle of his beard on my cheeks. In this world where men always seem to have the final say, may God spare any girl from becoming an orphan or losing her father..In the morning, I woke up with a heavy heart, a tired mind, and worries weighing down on me. Maryam and my mother had woken up before me. As soon as my mother saw that I was awake, she asked me to call Sabour. I handed the phone to my mother so she could speak to Sabour, and after she finished her conversation she returned the phone to me. I moved to a quieter place in our yard, so I could talk to Sabour calmly and without interruption..Like the other day, Sabour’s voice was sad, yet he seemed to lack the patience to talk. He mentioned he needed to prepare for the funeral ceremony and left, but he spoke as if he blamed himself for his mother’s death. “I am going to bury my mother. I returned her oxygen mask with my own hands, and now I will cover her with dirt, all by myself. How wretched I feel, Zahra.”.Not wanting to burden him further or pressure him to speak, I said softly, “Be patient. You’ve done everything you could. Life and death are not in your hands; they are in God’s hands. My mother and I will come to your house in an hour.” He fell silent and then said, “Please come. I want you to be there.”.Sabour’s house was full of guests. Farhanaz and Rihana, his brother’s wives, were sitting at the top of the house with two of Sabour’s aunts, crying. When they saw me, they both threw themselves into my arms. Farhanaz gently placed her hand on my head and said, “Dear, mother carried the wish to witness your and Sabour’s wedding to her grave.”.I wasn’t sure if I should sit beside them or not, but at my mother’s suggestion I took a seat in a corner next to the other women.