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Asses declare independence – I

Posted in Civic rights, Oddities, Politics, Uncategorized by Shoonya
Dec 21 2009

After I covered the declaration of Momoland and Tuppiwan last week, I got an email from one particular ‘entity’ inside present-day Nepal who called himself (or herself) Robot. He claimed to be the spokesperson of a separatist movement “Buttoms Liberation.” He informed me that they were making preparations to declare an independent nation of “Andoland.” After some exchanges, I was interested enough to ask him for an online-interview. I am publishing the interview in two parts. This post is part one of the series. (Click here for part two).

Excerpts:

Shoonya: So, you are declaring an independent country in itself?

Robot: Yes. We have decided that that is the only way we can secure a place where our rights are safeguarded and concerns are heard. We are no more interested in the present day country of Nepal. That is because we don’t have the slightest of faith in our interests being addressed by this completely failed system of mess. We have been wronged, humiliated, kept systematically out of the mainstream and given deferential treatment for too long. We have decided that we have had enough.

Doesn’t that amount to the violation of the interim constitution of Nepal?

It doesn’t apply to us. First of all, we no longer care about the constitution of Nepal. Even if we were too, observing from the ongoing developments, this wouldn’t amount to the violation of the constitution. The interim constitution of your country mentions about Nepal being a federal state, with several provinces/states. Look around you, people are declaring ‘autonomous republics,’ which is not what was visioned in the interim constitution. If states or provinces can be intrepreted to be equivalent to ‘autonomous republics,’ we may as well extend that definition to encompass ‘independent countries.’ We are glad that you picked on this in your writing, but look at the press and opinion in Nepal- all the criticisms are against ignoring the mandate of the Constituent Assembly, and not about violating the very spirit of the constitution. They are very sensitive about each word in other legal documents, but choose to ignore a very distasteful misinterpretation of the words and spirit of the supreme law.

Couldn’t you have taken your concerns for hearing within the existing system? The constituent assembly is writing a constitution – you could have lobbied for your concerns. There are many rights-organizations, political bodies, civil societies that could have supported your demands for greater inclusion and rights. It looks like you are more interested in spreading instability than getting your demands addressed.

Your question implies that the civil societies and other actors are unaware of our plight which is a very misleading and dangerous implication. But this is not unexpected. In fact, this is the most-asked question to us. I’d like to repeat that we have lost all our interest and faith in your system. We think it is easier for us to run a country of our own than asking for redressal in Nepal.

Why do you think so ?

Most thinkers – though we don’t think they are capable of thinking – in the system are too engrossed in the grand debates of proportionate inclusion, federalism, whether to call it a insurgency or a people’s war, whether to dry the linen in a nylon rope or a PVC-cord, whether to wear a black cap with white tunic or a grey cap with a pink underwear, deciding from the measurement of a person’s stomach’s stiffness whether he had a bottle of whiskey or a sip of coke, whether somebody is progressive or regressive, never-ending meetings with one foreigner or the other, with one leader or the other, demonstration and strikes, whether this and that bull shit, all yack, yack, yack.

We can’t participate in such debates, it’s out of the question and our limited ability. It’s like asking an atheist to choose the most proper religious text to be read out in a religious ceremony. Despite not being good at this all, we have written many times to the public personalities in Nepal asking them to give some thought on our conditions and address our issues. We don’t know if they didn’t understand us, or were uninterested or thought that ignoring the voices of non-entities like us would not matter much. After all, there are many important subjects like the ones mentioned above for the whole opinion-makers and influencers of Nepal to concentrate on. A slight deviation or lack of concentration would mean disaster for Nepal.

You have been repeatedly talking of the plight of this community you claim to represent. Who are you all actually?

We are a*holes.

Excuse me ?

Yes, you heard it right.

Could you please elaborate? Are you some kind of punk band, hippie-kids or members of the more later cult of hip-hop? Please remember that you are on-record for a prestigious blog in the region.

Some of us might be, in fact, some of us might even be like one of you – though it clearly seems you are not – we are a diverse group of people, of all races, cultures, sex, origin, profession and personal values. But there’s a very strong and common binding factor in all of us – we all are a*holes.

And how’s that? How are you all what you say you are?

See, we are the most neglected and depressed – everybody sits on on, shits on us – part of the body, underbelly is a lot more privileged than us. We are out of sight of the eyes and out of consideration of the head. Our voice is the most despised of all sounds. We don’t claim to be the most useful, powerful or brilliant of all body-parts, but we definitely are very necessary and important. But other parts of the body have never given it a thought. They are still thinking that this can continue. And they are to be blamed for all this – the heads, eyes, hands, lips, legs, bellies, even our own neighbors- the buttocks.


Readers with questions for Robot: please send it as comment below, or send me a mail at shoonya3 at gmail.com and I’ll forward them to him/her.


Picture Sources: top , bottom .


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Tagged as: analysis, ass, democracy, federalism, internet, nepal, separatist

Nepali Federalism

Posted in Current events, Politics, Uncategorized by Shoonya
Dec 14 2009

One of the Southasian headlines last week had to do with federalism. The announcement by the Indian government of its plan for the state of Telangana in the present-day Andhra Pradesh created waves of sorts. A large team of state ministers resigned, claims for other new states – mainly in Uttar Pradesh – surfaced, and the ongoing struggle for Gorkhaland found reasons to feel betrayed.

The proposed flags for the autonomous state Momoland

The proposed flags for the autonomous state Momoland

Federalism is the ‘in-thing’ in Nepal these days. The Maoists have started declaring ‘autonomous republics’ in various parts of the country and they’ve already called a three-day general strike next-week, in support of their call. Why and how have the Maoist Party’s (UCPN- Maoist) earlier demands for states (rajya, राज्य) based on ethnicity transformed into the recent calls for autonomous republics (autonomous ganarajya, स्वायत्त गणराज्य) based on ‘nationality’ remains a mystery. The logic behind the demarcation of such republics appears:

  • at best, to appease the voters in the form of underrepresented ethnic-minorities and
  • at worst, arbitrary

There are disputes within the Maoist party regarding the number, nature and borders of such republics. Various other forms of autonomous states are also proposed by other groups, both heard and unheard of. Some fringe parties and groups have been protesting against federalism itself (and for highly decentralized governance) while others are demanding that to-be or not-to-be federal be decided by a referendum. Whatever comes out of this hurlyburly in Nepali politics is out of the foresight of an ordinary citizen like me.

Maoist have called a general-strike in support of their 'autonomous-republics' declaration

Maoist have called a general-strike in support of their 'autonomous-republics' declaration

Meanwhile, some people have demanded a “Kaanth” (काँठ) state (link in Nepali) in the areas surrounding the Kathmandu city. Disappointed of all the news surrounding the states and reservations for non Brahmin-Kshetri in all public-positions, the Brahmin-Kshetris (they are the largest ethnic group in Nepal) have started demanding (a) state(s) of their own. News of such demands from the far-eastern district of Jhapa (link in Nepali) and the central district of Chitwan (link in Nepali) were published last week.

In an unreported incident, two of my friends have, for the first time, announced plans for their own states. One comes from the Western region and the other hails from Kathmandu. Amidst a tea-shop ceremony yesterday, the Momoland (म:म: ल्याण्ड) and Tuppiwaan (टुप्पि वान) states were declared. Speaking on the occasion, they threatened to take up arms if their demands were neglected. They said that any attempts against their movements may result in separatist movements. In front of a very excited audience in the packed-room, the leaders released the initial designs of the flags for their states.

The proposed flags for the autonomous state Tuppiwaan

The proposed flags for the autonomous state Tuppiwaan

The leader of the Momoland Liberation Party informed me that the dumplings that give the name of the state will be the symbol of national-unity in Momoland, while the fatigue-dressed leader of Tuppiwaan National Congress said that his state will adopt monarchical system of governance. Both the leaders have agreed to join hands in their fight for self-determination and liberation. They have inked a secret deal with promises of mutual-cooperation between the two states and of joint-struggle if needed, against any outside aggression. As an insider, I know of at least one another point of mutual agreement: both the states will grant citizenship to any beautiful woman upon entry into the state, but such privilege will not be extended for a woman’s spouse, who could instead be exiled from the state at any time, without providing any reason. The leaders both the states will be engaging in further discussion next week and come up with further points of agreement.


Note:

  • MoMo is a popular food in Kathmandu.
  • Tuppi is a lock of hair left on top of the shaven head of a male Hindu priest.
  • The term “ganarajya” गणराज्य, translated to English means ‘republic’, the Czech Republic is called Czech Ganarajya in Nepali- here’s a link to a Hindi-English dictionary translation.

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Tagged as: Communalism, federalism, humour, India, momo, nepal, tuppi

Of Double Standard and Animal Sacrifices – II

Posted in Publishing, Religion, Uncategorized by Shoonya
Dec 07 2009
TrackBack Address.

This is a follow-up to my earlier post. I wanted to see what kind of news about Nepal were covered, mainly by the BBC. I have gathered some quick Google results (Google web search and Google news search) for a set of different search queries about Nepal. The queries were made on the 4th Dec 2009, 11:49 (Nepal time). Though this is not an exhaustive research, and the results don’t produce anything even close to ‘conclusive,’ I hope it can give some hints, and justify my reasons in the earlier post.

Numbers to the right of the colon (”:”) are the total number of pages returned for the search query given at the left of the colon. Sources (either BBC or all) are written inside braces.

'nepal'+'gadhimai' returned 931 pages from bbc.co.uk on google web search
‘nepal’+'gadhimai’ returned 931 pages from bbc.co.uk on google web search

"nepal"+"karnali" returned 25 pages from bbc.co.uk on google web search
“nepal”+”karnali” returned 25 pages from bbc.co.uk on google web search

Google Web:

  • “nepal”+”christian”+”conversion” : 42 (bbc.co.uk) picture
  • “nepal”+”christian”+”death” : 286 (bbc.co.uk) picture
  • “nepal”+”road accident” : 50 (bbc.co.uk) 50 picture
  • “nepal”+”karnali” : 25 (bbc.co.uk) picture
  • “nepal”+”karnali”+”food” : 4 (bbc.co.uk) picture
  • “nepal”+”gadhimai” : 931 (bbc.co.uk) picture
  • “nepal” : 31,300 (bbc.co.uk) picture

”nepal”+”christian”+”death” returned 1740 results on google news search
”nepal”+”christian”+”death” returned 1740 results on google news search

"nepal"+"christian"+"convert" returned 194 results on google news search
“nepal”+”christian”+”convert” returned 194 results on google news search

Google News:

  • “nepal”+”karnali” : 1040 (all) picture
  • “nepal”+”hinduism” : 1700 (all) picture
  • “nepal”+”christian”+”death” : 1740 (all) picture
  • “nepal”+”christian”+”convert” : 194 (all) picture
  • “nepal”+”karnali” : 135 (BBC) picture
  • “nepal”+”hinduism” : 29 (BBC) picture
  • “nepal”+”christian”+”death” : 7 (BBC) picture
  • “nepal”+”christian”+”convert” : 2 (BBC) picture
  • “nepal”+”christian” : 72 (BBC) picture
  • “nepal”+”tibet” : 508 (BBC) picture

I leave it for you to decide what is the defining characteristic of Christianity in Nepal: death or conversion? The figures speak for themselves on what kind of coverage did Gadhimai receive and what really are the pressing issues of Nepal.

Thanks for your comments :)


Searches executed on Google Web Search and Google News Archive Search


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Tagged as: analysis, animals, BBC, gadhimai, google, hinduism, hypocrisy, karnali, media, nepal, Religion, sacrifice

Of Double Standard and Animal Sacrifices

Posted in Politics, Religion, Uncategorized by Shoonya
Dec 05 2009
TrackBack Address.

Just before the 2002 World Cup Football, there was a huge outcry in the Western world demanding a ban on the eating of dogs in Korea. Earlier during the 1988 Olympics, frightened of damaging the country’s ‘international image’, the government had to ask its citizens not to consume dog. This, despite the fact that Korea itself is a major player in the ‘international’ economy. Consumption of dog-meat is a centuries-old tradition in South-East Asia and in parts of North-Eastern India. The Westerners’ logic for asking to outlaw this tradition is, “the dog is a companion animal.” Compare that to cow-eating (beef) by the Westerners – the animal is worshiped by Hindus as Goddess and is highly revered. The meat-industry in America is subsidized by the government. It would have looked more convincing if such a open display of double standard were shrouded inside some more-credible sounding reasons or methods.

Talk of animal rights. In a recent radio interview, a Nepalese conservationist said that all animals (reared or otherwise) should be allowed to grow to their normal full size and age before they are consumed. Now compare that to the huge number of lambs (a young sheep less than one year is called a lamb) and calves that are consumed in the West. Statistics released by the American government alone reveal that a total (heads) of 956,600 calves, 2.56 million lambs and more than 6 million cows were consumed in 2008.

In the Judaeo-Christian festival of Passover, also described in in the Bible, a lamb is required to be sacrificed by each family. The mass-sacrifice ceremony was discontinued many years ago after the site of the sacrifice- the Temple in Jerusalem – was destroyed and because of fears of possible religious tensions in view with the sensitivity of the region, rather than because of the new-found love for the poor creature. Active plans to resume the tradition after rebuilding the Temple are underway. A public “rehearsal” of this sacrifice was pronounced “proper” by a Court in Isreal, and in process the claims of animal cruelty by animal-rights groups were categorically rejected. More than a hundred million turkeys are killed during the Thanksgiving. In the Muslim festival of Hajj, a large number of animals are sacrificed too.

Why then do we see the unnaturally high number of opinions, discussions, and web pages dedicated to the recently observed Gadhimai festival in the top list of Google-search results for queries containing “Nepal”, “Hinduism”, “sacrifice”, “animal” and many others? Look all over the web and you’ll see that the Gadhimai is being advertised by many news agencies as the largest animal-sacrifice on Earth. Gadhimai sacrifices take place once every five years and an estimated half-millon animals were butchered this year. Incidentally, this year, the dates of Gadhimai almost coincided with the Turkish Festival of Kurban Bayramı, when an estimated 2.5 million animals are sacrificed each year. The New York Times writes that it is hardly uncommon to see animal blood trickling down the streets during the this Muslim festival. Kurban Bayramı is linked to one of the most important Muslim festivals, the Eid al-Adha, which means “festival of sacrifice” in Arabic.

Think of doing some online research on the news coverage (by major agencies like BBC) of the death of people in Nepal because of the yearly floods, almost-weekly road accidents that kill scores, frequent occurrences of abduction and killings, or the epidemic-scale cholera and diarrhoea that kill thousands. For the sheer lack of information available, you’ll have to tell yourself that it is unreasonable to expect a small and poor country like Nepal to receive a coverage (read global coverage if you want, but even local coverage is poor enough) for such minor subjects. But try to google the death of two Christians in an isolated event last year, and you’ll be surprised by the attention earned by this country, the 40th most populous in the world. Gadhimai is another one among such subjects.

For people like me, participation in a debate like this often results in earning the label of a right-wing extremist, thanks to all the pundits, including the ones respected by our own society who have narrowed the spectrum down to the Dubya-style good-or-evil. Public display of violence and cruelty is not good, and it is worse to validate it in the name of religion.

But monotonous rhetoric aimed at victimizing one of the world’s poorest peoples, purported through hypocritical and lopsided agents and arguments of morality is a very bad substitute. No one in his right mind should buy the logic that children of third-world countries idolize anything local and traditional, including violence in their underbelly, when all of their dreams are stuffed of Hollywood movies of the gun-totting Rambos and Terminators and the glamorous news-stories of shootouts in the public-schools of their land of dreams. Asking to be vegetarian for health or climate reasons might still be acceptable, but devouring lambs and calves and celebrating the arrival of the non-vegetarian food-chain KFC, while remaining indifferent to the prolonged periods of scarcity of basic food-items like salt and rice for the people of Karnali is by all means a gross violation of animal rights, civil duties and the shameless misuse of the privilege to preach morality.

Let’s begin by asking how many cultural, religious, linguistic or otherwise unique identities of people the world-over have been made extinct by the colonial practices and market-oriented advances of the elites, both local and global? Let’s begin by asking why the world has to conform to a uniform and taught idea of morality and civilization. Can’t we let a small group of people, devoid of infrastructures, development and attention from the physical-political powers continue with what they think is their way to ask for such luxuries from their only source of hope – the metaphysical powers? Only if in afterthought, maybe our elites could use their influence to lobby for more development and prosperity to the people of the region so that such traditions would turn less attractive. Maybe we can start by making such occasions more regulated, away from public places and children and with maintained levels of hygiene and health. And, could we please start by making sure that such events don’t turn into an opportunity to vilify our broader identity and regional pride of history and culture? Hinduism and Nepalese culture, both are too unorganized and diverse systems (there are many vegetarians and even non-worshiping sects in Hinduism) for a local festival to be made representative of their nature and values. Maybe, we could also begin by asking ourselves why Gadhimai, a festival that has been observed since many many years ago, and which used to go largely unreported (as if it was ok. and unreported like many other things in the region) attracted so much of international attention this year?

In conclusion, and not in relation to the above paragraphs: how many animals, both human and non-humans do the Western powers, with the endorsement of their media, kill every year? And is it not in the name of religion that George W Bush, Israel, Palestine and Al Qaeda all validated such sacrifices? Why is Afganistan not called the largest animal-sacrifice of the year, and is it because the winner of Nobel Peace Prize approves the killings? A reminder to those who might have forgotten: in 2001, US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright said that the death of more than a half million children in Iraq because of US sanctions, despite being a very hard choice , was “worth the price.” Of course, ‘out-of-context’ and off-topic subjects like the famous cultural event and a global spectacle – the bullfighting – are way beyond consideration in discussions like these.


Update: 7th Dec 2009: I’ve written a follow-up to this post.


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Tagged as: America, animals, gadhimai, hinduism, hypocrisy, media, morality, nepal, Religion, sacrifice
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