Over the top

Babu meets the Dada.

Dada: Babu, timi dat kaile dekhaudainau ni. kina? (show me your teeth, babe)

Babu: I firmly see Marx’s dream before me – shooting people in the morning, carrying out surgery in the day, and becoming a hero in the evening. Does it look like I have time to brush my god damn teeth and choose between the capitalistic forces of colgate and closeup versus the imperialistic tendencies of Dabur Lal Dunta Manjan?

Dada: I thought I was the Dada. But hats off to you, you know how to kick start an interview. How do you do it?

Babu: How do I do what?

Dada: How do you do that?

Babu: What that?

Dada: that.

Babu: This is getting no where.

Dada: You think so?

Babu: Am used to it.

Dada: Ok, moving on, your party is called Maoists, what does this mean?

Babu: We are Mao’s decendents from an illegitimate affair he had with a Nepali princess.

Dada: Do communists like wai wai?

Babu: You see, this is the fundamental problem with life in Nepal. The capitalist pigs are able to feed the pigs wai wai before we can brainwash them with ideals. Wai wai tastes better and fills you up. It can be prepared in many ways – can be eaten raw, on the fly, or cooked as a proper meal… but they are reductionists – their package is smaller than what it once was.

Dada: Thank you Babu for taking part in the first interview of the Nepali Dada Party as it awaits the moment to revolutionize the revolutionaries with a counter-revolution to meet the other-revolution. Dhanya ho babu, dhanya ho!

It has been leaked to General Public that the Nepali Dada Party was preparing to mobilize its elite youth force, the Fundamentally Upset Commoners  Klan of Energetic Revolutionaries, whose acronym cannot be spelled out   for fear of censorship by the Chinese authorities who continue to classify the Nepali Dada Party as Tibetan Nationalistic Unitary Communists.

The Nepali Dada Party firmly denies this claim. Our Revolutionaries are Upset at this unwanted accusation. It demands that General Public make his sources public immediately on all national daily and weekly newspapers so that General Public can rest assured that we as a party are a responsible bunch of bloks. We play cricket and sip tea in Nepal’s Tribhuvan. Honest!

Those broken windows were because our Fundamentally Upset Commoners  Klan of Energetic Revolutionaries are working hard to produce the next Sackin Tenderkarke. Then the imperlialistic and capitalistic powers of South Asian cricket and the IPL beware! The true legends of cricket like Bratman, War-ni, and Potluck.

Viva la Revolution!

- Dada without title, Central Committee Member of the Nepali Dada Party

25th Jan, Butwal, the Nepali Dada party is proud to announce that more CA members of this glorious and dignified country are entering its folds as true breed dadas. Disrespect for authority and respect for ones status are what define a dada and yet another member has been indoctrinated today. Soon with all the dadas that the Nepali Dada party has gathered within its herd, a formidable power that can bully the nation into submission shall be found. Then we shall bully our neighbours into giving us better cars and longer credit periods. As a LDC we will also surely be able to bully the worthless likes of the first class citizens of the world into feeling ever more guilty about their inadequacies in making a truely democractic and social globe where in the MDGs are actually met and Bono can go to sleep in peace.

note to editor:

The Nepali Dada Party is a violently virtual force that believes in non-violent protest against those who believe violence is an answer to bullying. They must be made to realize, the only response to bullying is subjugation. The Dadas will rule forever.

- Kancho Dada, Communications and PR Manager of the Nepali Dada Party

It has been leaked to the general public that a senior level member of the Nepali Dada Party had a secret meeting with Arjun Dada’s driver in the bathroom of a 737. The Nepali Dada Party agrees and accepts that this secret meeting happened. It also acknowledges that a separate account of a senior Nepali Dada Party reaching the Mile High Society is absolutely true.

The Party in all its posturing and sukulgunda ways, would like to clarify what was discussed between the driver and the shooter on that fateful plane ride in that fateful compartment.The driver has taken on a classical role of connecting the hardguns of the Nepali Dada Party with its softguns in a very logical manner. It has done so by developing the first draft of the Nepali Dada Party’s very own ethical code of conduct. Popularly within the party, it is called “E!-Dada’s-thic”

The primary components of this new moral understanding include:

“Its cool to kill your cousins, they are evil.”

“You never liked your teacher anyways!”

“Hey, did I show you how cool I was? Now, do as I say”

“The Nepali Dada Party and apparently America have God on their side”

“If you can’t out box the fox, wack the fox in the box”

“Its more fun in bed when its 5 to 1″

“Your wife is worth 2 and a half goats (partly because of the above).”

For the millions and millions of the Dada Party Followers, I would like to assure you that a more detailed standard, that can be applied to all party members and can also then be imposed upon all non-party members, shall be drafted once all senior members congregate in the toilet of the yak and yeti – hidden from the neo-aristocrats that live above (they don’t use the toilets, they have people who bring it to them).

- Moral Dada, the developer of maxims, Nepali Dada Party

The Nepali Dada Party is proud to represent a growing mass of working professionals in Nepal that are incompetent, illiterate and basically retarded.

Let me offer a description – the Nepali professional is a breed that will work for money, but will be equally comfortable not working for the money. It is not be trusted, but will always have a good heart. It will not know how to use MS Excel but will be pro-efficient in assuming it does.It will value power-cuts as moments of orange filled Sunday afternoons. It will work for green papers, white leather and tubeless tires around its waist. It will leave the country and talk excessively about it. It will do nothing while believing it is doing everything. It will believe in god, fate and palmistry. It will enjoy steaks and lose interest in its own stakes. It will never, ever, deliver anything on time. It will value time to watch tv. It will fume about the professionalism of cable companies. And last but not least, it will be a democratic thing.

Without such a workforce at its disposal the party would never be able to dysfunction. It is within this grand behemoth of inefficiency and thoughtlessness that a true revolution can be instigated. The fundamentals of our revolution is not efficiency and productivity, it is the perception of professionalism. This alone will lead to alienation and a lack of hope, within all professionals, setting the right foundations for a rise in feelings of injustice and discrimination. These two are the seeds of the new revolution.

Unfortunately, till date our revolution remains inefficient and thoughtless… but very, very professional.

- Mynagar Dada, Senior VP of the Nepali Dada Party