Over the top

25th Jan, Butwal, the Nepali Dada party is proud to announce that more CA members of this glorious and dignified country are entering its folds as true breed dadas. Disrespect for authority and respect for ones status are what define a dada and yet another member has been indoctrinated today. Soon with all the dadas that the Nepali Dada party has gathered within its herd, a formidable power that can bully the nation into submission shall be found. Then we shall bully our neighbours into giving us better cars and longer credit periods. As a LDC we will also surely be able to bully the worthless likes of the first class citizens of the world into feeling ever more guilty about their inadequacies in making a truely democractic and social globe where in the MDGs are actually met and Bono can go to sleep in peace.

note to editor:

The Nepali Dada Party is a violently virtual force that believes in non-violent protest against those who believe violence is an answer to bullying. They must be made to realize, the only response to bullying is subjugation. The Dadas will rule forever.

- Kancho Dada, Communications and PR Manager of the Nepali Dada Party

It has been leaked to the general public that a senior level member of the Nepali Dada Party had a secret meeting with Arjun Dada’s driver in the bathroom of a 737. The Nepali Dada Party agrees and accepts that this secret meeting happened. It also acknowledges that a separate account of a senior Nepali Dada Party reaching the Mile High Society is absolutely true.

The Party in all its posturing and sukulgunda ways, would like to clarify what was discussed between the driver and the shooter on that fateful plane ride in that fateful compartment.The driver has taken on a classical role of connecting the hardguns of the Nepali Dada Party with its softguns in a very logical manner. It has done so by developing the first draft of the Nepali Dada Party’s very own ethical code of conduct. Popularly within the party, it is called “E!-Dada’s-thic”

The primary components of this new moral understanding include:

“Its cool to kill your cousins, they are evil.”

“You never liked your teacher anyways!”

“Hey, did I show you how cool I was? Now, do as I say”

“The Nepali Dada Party and apparently America have God on their side”

“If you can’t out box the fox, wack the fox in the box”

“Its more fun in bed when its 5 to 1″

“Your wife is worth 2 and a half goats (partly because of the above).”

For the millions and millions of the Dada Party Followers, I would like to assure you that a more detailed standard, that can be applied to all party members and can also then be imposed upon all non-party members, shall be drafted once all senior members congregate in the toilet of the yak and yeti – hidden from the neo-aristocrats that live above (they don’t use the toilets, they have people who bring it to them).

- Moral Dada, the developer of maxims, Nepali Dada Party

The Nepali Dada Party is proud to represent a growing mass of working professionals in Nepal that are incompetent, illiterate and basically retarded.

Let me offer a description – the Nepali professional is a breed that will work for money, but will be equally comfortable not working for the money. It is not be trusted, but will always have a good heart. It will not know how to use MS Excel but will be pro-efficient in assuming it does.It will value power-cuts as moments of orange filled Sunday afternoons. It will work for green papers, white leather and tubeless tires around its waist. It will leave the country and talk excessively about it. It will do nothing while believing it is doing everything. It will believe in god, fate and palmistry. It will enjoy steaks and lose interest in its own stakes. It will never, ever, deliver anything on time. It will value time to watch tv. It will fume about the professionalism of cable companies. And last but not least, it will be a democratic thing.

Without such a workforce at its disposal the party would never be able to dysfunction. It is within this grand behemoth of inefficiency and thoughtlessness that a true revolution can be instigated. The fundamentals of our revolution is not efficiency and productivity, it is the perception of professionalism. This alone will lead to alienation and a lack of hope, within all professionals, setting the right foundations for a rise in feelings of injustice and discrimination. These two are the seeds of the new revolution.

Unfortunately, till date our revolution remains inefficient and thoughtless… but very, very professional.

- Mynagar Dada, Senior VP of the Nepali Dada Party

My Fellow Countrymen and Comrades!

I have been to the border of two great nations – India and Nepal. These are my observations:

1. Our Comrades in India look Indian, but in Nepal our Comrades looks miraculously Nepali – infiltration will be easy
2. The momos in Nepal are better, especially when the meat is fresh from Gadimai
3. Many Indians live in Nepal and many Nepalis live in India – they are considered retarded by both parties
4. The Jalebies/Jerries are much sweeter in India
5. Some Indians don’t understand Nepali, most Nepalis understand Indian

In conclusion, my comrades, it is time to get beyond the issue of borders and boundaries and except that we as a people need to read that little red book and accept the revolution is neigh! We are all comrades, we are fighting the imperialist pigs and we are are all fighting for the elixir of liberty!

Flaunt the flames! Light the Fires! From Chaos a new order shall emerge! The Nepali Dadas of the world, Unite!

- Undercover Dada, official e-spy of the Nepali Dada Party

Observations revealed by the KFC (Kounter Factual Central) of the Nepali Dada Party:

1. Non Resident Indians (NRIs) do not provide trolleys for the benefit of the NNRIs (Non-Non Resident Indians)
2. The Delhi International Airport is managed by Singapore versus the the Kathmandu International Airport that is managed by as yet unidentified group
3. The Taxi culture in both cities is the same: taxi drivers are the dog soldiers of the revolution and they like dog biscuits
4. The KFC culture is much better in Nepal

More to be revealed after adequate measures have been taken to ensure all content is politically correct and does not offend the general sentiments of the generals of public opinion.

- Information and Communication Division of the Nepali Dada Party